It's a sign of the times!

IT’S A SIGN OF THE TIMES 

WHAT'S in a name? Quite a lot, it would appear, as the ancient art of autograph hunting suddenly becomes big, big business. 

Along with cigarette card and postcard collecting, a lot of money is now being made selling the scrawl of the rich and famous - and the dead-er the better, it seems! 

At an antiques fair I attended recently, I was amazed at the sums asked by a dealer for supposedly signed photos of rock stars and sporting heroes (who originally gave their unreadable scribble to some fan free of charge). 

And I was intrigued to know how they arrived at the prices of various TV and film stars listed in a magazine advert this week - all available on a mail order hotline! 

For only £100 you might pick up Woody Allen, Julia Roberts, Fred Astaire, George Michael or Bruce Springsteen, whereas a mere £65 will net you Richard Gere, Tom Cruise, Kevin Costner, Elton John or Cher. 

But you’ll need big bucks for Clark Gable (£250), Errol Flynn (£300), Walt Disney (£600) and one of the Beatles (£750) - and a whopping £2,500 each for Marilyn Monroe and Greta Garbo. 

Among the rock ’n’ roll corpses, Freddie Mercury is strangely only worth £200 and Jimi Hendrix an absolute snip at £350, compared to the current going rates for Buddy Holly (£650), Elvis (£800) and Jim Morrison (£950)! 

What puzzles me is how these dealers can guarantee authenticity when celebrities are hardly going to provide a letter of confirmation to every stage-door Johnny just in case they decide to flog it later...

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SPARE ME THE HYPE!

IT’S only September and already festive menus are appearing in pubs, greeting cards and calendars are on sale in shops and (without asking) credit card companies are offering to extend your cash limit by several hundred pounds. 

But you really know you-know-what is on the horizon when whingeing newspaper columnists tell you the dreaded C-word gets earlier every year!

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COUNTING COST OF IMPATIENCE

THOSE 0891 phone numbers are taking over our lives, from numerous chat and sex lines to TV competitions and soccer club calls for results and information. 

But you must be pretty impatient (or downright thick) if you are happy to pay 48p a minute to hear all 30 answers to the coffee break crossword puzzle in the Daily Express when they are printed in the paper the next day and there isn’t even a prize...

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(This column was originally published in the Northamptonshire Evening Telegraph on Saturday, 26 September, 1992)